Jyotish Shastra

  Om Namo Bhagavate Vaasudevaayaa

Golden Memories with My Gurudev

Or Holy memories. I still remember my first visit of Gurudev. It was in the month of January, 1999 when I was told to visit Him in response to my request for initiation. I didn't have many words with him that day & in the following month I received the Holy Mantra from Him in Yogodyan Math. After that time, I couldn't visit him again due to exams & added to that Gurudev was in Delhi during that time. After a long time, we got some scattered information about his ill-health & came to know that He had gone through bypass surgery. I was a bit worried about this news, but soon He came back to Kolkata & stayed in Ramakrishna Mission Institute of Culture, Golpark for about a fortnight. It was a golden opportunity for me as there was arrangement of His Darshan-Pranaam there, & that too twice a day & the place being closer from home. I went there almost everyday, & if possible twice a day. I used to ask him how is he doing, to which He often used to ask me in return, how do I see him??? & in due course he remembered my face. Whenever I visited him, he would smile at me & in a gesture ask me, how am I doing??

Since then I used to visit him quite regularly, once or twice a month, if he is there in the Math. I never asked him much about my religious progress, but it was all about a mere smile between us. I often recollect a day, when I visited him privately with prior permission. During that time, I was getting angry on everything, so I thought of asking Him, what to do if I can control my anger. I asked him, with fear in mind. He told me the consequences of getting angry, which I can fairly recollect, but only one sentence that I still remember, "Jokhon tumi bujhte paarcho je tomaar raag hocche, tokhon chesta korbe control korte," (when you can feel that you are getting angry, then you try to control your anger).

Generally I used to visit him in the evening & sometime of the darshan, if there was time, Gurudev often used to tell about the words from Mundaka Upanishad, "Satyameva Jayate, Naanritam," meaning "Truth wins, not the fake" & he would add, what should be our aim in life, like the aim Shree Shree Thakur, "Ishwarlaabh". If some people would ask him, "Maharaj-ji, tell us a story," he would smile & tell a story & quite frequently it was "Pantaburi-r golpo".

Before any auspicious event or before taking any decision, I used to Gurudev's prior permission, as he knows the past, present & future of his devotee. Likewise I used to take his blessings before my mid-term & school examinations. I remember, once it was becoming very difficult for me to memorise all the school notes & that too before final examination. I sent him a letter about how to memorise to which he replied that once you read a lesson, try to memorise & write it down immediately. I received it during my exams-this helped me a lot & it became easier for me to memorise all the lessons. Till my last exam in my college I followed his advice.

Another incident which I often recollect-I went to Yododyan Math in the evening. There were two timings for Darshan that evening-once before Sandhya Arati & after Sandhya Arati. I arrived later, so was fortunate for the second darshan. There were very few people, rather a handful. It was raining outside & people were reluctant to leave the Math after Darshan. Even Gurudev was willing to sit for some more time & spend time with his devotees, though one of his Sevak Maharaj insisted him to leave the darshan room, but no one could stop if Gurudev wills to spend some more time. He was telling us about his recent trip to Bangalore & what all he saw there-about relief initiatives, free teaching etc.

Once I got some flowers, bel patta for him, as I had a deep desire to offer him anjali. He allowed me to do so & asked me whether anyone taught me to do this or not. To his question, I said, "No". He remained silent. I also asked him some questions about Gita & certain topics which I couldn't understand. He answered all my questions. Whenever I would visit him, he would touch my head/forehead. Hardly there were one or two instances, when he couldn't do so, if there is Darshan from some distance specially on days of Festivals like Holi, Nityabirbhab Utsab in Yogodyan or Tithi Puja of Shree Shree Thakur, Shree Shree Maa or Swamiji. It was certainly a matter to be proud of, for me, as it happened on days when he was not touching anyone's head/forehead, but touched my head---thus indicating his blessing for me.

I am fond of cooking, since my childhood days. So one day I decided to cook something for Gurudev. It was hard for me to find what he will like, so I opted to cook "Payesh" for Gurudev. When I reached Yogodyan with my offer of devotion, it was too late as the timing for darshan was over. However, there were many other devotees, who also missed to visit him, were waiting outside. His Sevak Maharaj-ji arranged for a small darshan in his room, there I offered him the "Payesh" & asked him to accept my offer of devotion. He accepted my offerings with a smile. On the following day, I called up one of his Sevak Maharaj to get the feedback. He told me that the Payesh was good; Gurudev had it during his dinner & shared it with other Sanyasis. Later, I prepared an eggless cake for Gurudev by taking prior permission from his Sevak Maharaj.

I never talked much to Gurudev, neither did he. But his gestures, his smile attracted me than anything else, added to that his touching my head, as a sign of blessing.

In 2005, Gurudev was elected as the President of the Sangha. I visited the first 5 days, as after that time he went to Kerala for ayurvedic treatment. However, his movement slowed down before he went to Belur Math as President. Although, he was the President, we could touch his feet during Darshan, which was a heaven sent opportunity. In that same year I was doing my industrial training from a reputed hotel in Kolkata, but due to my hectic schedule, it was becoming difficult for me to do my daily worship. I asked Gurudev what to do & he told me to do it, whenever I can. During the Durga Puja that year, I visited Belur Math, attended Kumari Puja & Sandhi Puja. I had flowers with me to offer for Maa Durga, however, there was much rush & also I had to offer my obeisance to Gurudev, so I rather decided to offer those flowers to Gurudev, considering him to be "Devi Durga".

In the year 2006, especially after September I could hardly visit Gurudev, due to professional reasons. Previously when it was a fortnightly affair, but then it came once in one month or in two months. Though I had a deep desire to visit him weekly, when he was present in Math, still due to unavoidable reasons, I could hardly do so.

Time passed on as usual. Then came the year 2007, without foretelling that it will bring a tragedy in my life. Though my visits were not weekly as before, still I tried to visit once in a month. Gurudev was admitted to "ITU" of Ramakrishna Mission Seva Pratisthan in Kolkata, in the month of September, 2007 after he was having severe convulsion, due to Parkinson's, septicaemia etc reasons. I wanted him to recover in few days, however, my wish will not change Gurudev's wish. After a week or so, his secretary used to sit in Room No.10 of the same hospital & gave us his news, possibility of recovery & his present condition. On 17th September, 2007, some arrangements were made where we could see Gurudev live in television. I used to visit everyday after my college hours. During that time, my daily schedule was like attend classes from 9 am to 5pm, visit hospital from 5:30 pm to 6:30 & work from 8:30 pm to 1 am. Despite such hectic schedule, I made it a point to visit him everyday. I was very much worried about such condition, where there is hardly any recovery; Gurudev didn't respond to any of the medications that have been applied on him. Such condition remained for 2 weeks & suddenly the condition deteriorated badly. Doctors gave up hope--- my heart bursted with tears. Is there no hope??? Will Thakur not listen to me??? Will He not listen to the wish of thousands & lakhs of devotees??? Probably Thakur gave us a ray of hope----in a day or two, there were signs of recovery & good news was that Gurudev was shifted to General Ward. Provision was made for a daily Darshan in the evening. I used to visit everyday. For his recovery, I conducted Vishnu Sahasranaam Paath, daily Maha Mrityunjaymantra Jap, & also Devi Mahatmyam Recitation. At the end of Puja, I used to give the "prasaadi" flowers to his secretary so that he can keep those flowers closer to his head. One of my friends told me to conduct a small remedy for Gurudev, by which his recovery will be assured. However, it didn't fetch any results. I continued doing so. I recollect once I dreamt of massaging Gurudev's lotus feet, but never got an opportunity to do so in reality. However, by performing these remedies, I could render some service to Gurudev.

After 1 ½ months of being admitted to the hospital, his condition remained unchanged. I continued performing those remedies, but no results. During that time, I was also suffering from acute arthritis, multiple joint pains etc. Coincidentally, the day Gurudev was terribly ill, on the same day my physical condition was equally bad. I remember on 1st November I had a campus interview in college & I could hardly move that day. Once I returned home, I lied down in the bed & could hardly move. Later I came to know, that Gurudev's condition was critical that day.

3rd November, 2007, Saturday---My health was very bad that day; still I went to RKM Sevapratisthan & continue the remedies. I asked Gurudev's Secretary Maharaj-ji about his condition to which he replied, "There is hardly any chance of recovery; Gradually his condition is worsening". With a gloomy mood, I returned home.

4th November, 2007, Sunday--- As usual I was having multiple joint pains that day. In the evening I was scheduled to attend an office meet, before which I planned to visit RKM Sevapratisthan. However, my ill health didn't allow me to do so. I left for the office meet, but on my way I got the news of Gurudev-that he left his mortal body in the evening.

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